December 2011
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All these people with their big fake smiles - Is there some emptiness underneath or nothing at all - I don’t  know I don’t know - As if it matters what they do or pretend to be - The people who show what is real for them - its not working out exactly well for us either - Not that I am glass but - I wish I was
Dec 30th
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Dream - Dec 28, 2011
In my dream last night, Justin Bieber was meant to do a show at my college or something. We were in a small auditorium with about 5-10 people in the audience. I was on stage with Justin Bieber. We were sitting on chairs, he was turned away from the audience and I was facing the audience but mostly watching him. He was doing all sorts of “dreamy” and swoon causing movements and...
Dec 28th
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the girl outside the supermarket by Charles...
a very tall girl lifts her nose at me outside a supermarket as if I were a walking garbage can; and I had no desire for her, no more desire than for a phone pole. what was her message? that I would never see the top of her pantyhose? - I am a man in his 50s sex is no longer an aching mystery to me, so I can’t understand being snubbed by a phone pole. I’ll leave young...
Dec 28th
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Thoughts (Bukowski)
My girlfriend bought me a big collection of Bukowski for Christmas. I’ve been reading it off and on. I’ve heard people say that Bukowski is just a tough and bitter old man. Maybe. That’s not what I love about his poems though. To me Bukowski is like being conscious in a city. You see the poverty and the suffering and the way it doesn’t change and the way we don’t...
Dec 28th
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Dream - Dec 24, 2011
In my dream last night, my girlfriend (Terri) and I broke up. I was in some port area that was grungy and overcast. I saw my ex-girlfriend (Leah) talking to an older white woman and I tried to say hi but she laughed and went back to talking to the older woman. I was surprised and hurt because we have been friends since the breakup. Then I remember being in an apartment near the top of a...
Dec 24th
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Nothing says being home like having a drunken argument with your brother about politics.
Dec 20th
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Thoughts (I'm back and a dream I had last night)
I haven’t written anything on this blog in a long time. Mostly because I haven’t written anything in a long time. I’ve been exhausted from school. I have a month off and I figure now would be a good time to start again. Nothing has really happened since last time I wrote. I go to St. John’s College, which is a classics school, so we’ve been reading a lot of religious...
Dec 19th
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